


ready for a political revolution, Tooru?

by shouhina



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ITS 12:26 IN THE MORNING ON A THURSDAY, M/M, this is a joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 08:39:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6559666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shouhina/pseuds/shouhina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>happy birthday adriana</p>
            </blockquote>





	ready for a political revolution, Tooru?

"Tooru" Bernie called. Bernard Sanders, was a 74 year old man who really, really enjoyed anime. It was his _passion._ He watched a fairly local volleyball anime called, "Hike You!", or whatever the youngsters call it these days. One day, he looked up this "Tooru Oikawa" in the yellow phone book and decided to give him a call. Oh, a Japanese number, but what would a phone bill matter. He got his IPhone 7S 6 Plus C, and dialed the number. It was ringing. Ring. Okay.

"Good morning, who may this be on a fine beautiful morning~" Oikawa said, over the phone.

"Hello Mr. Oikawa, it's not morning here in fact, but 7:30 PM in the evening, but you were close. I am Bernard, and I would like your help on a political revolution." For a moment, Oikawa paused, and then replied,

"Ber... OH! Right! American Politics, correct? Listen, I don't know why you called a Japanese volleyball handsome looking fine guy, but I've heard about your... rival. White. Well, all of America is practically white, but this man... was his name Trumpet?" Oikawa asked. He's heard about the cracker from the news lately, but turns them off immediately, since Akiteru Tsukishima has already told everyone that American politics is disgusting, so he let the news be.

"Donald... yes, a cracker indeed... not the good crackers my wife gave me for Christmas in 2007, but he is a _cracker_ that was dropped in the _sewage_. And believe me, I think this old fake orange tan guy got dropped when he was a baby, and he's **_so_** orange he looks like that James guy from Big Time Rush who put a fake tan spray all over him and was going nuts. That's Donald French Hor—" Bernie stops and coughs for a moment, then proceeds, "Donald Trump. Disgusting. That's why I need your help, Mr. Oikawa We need to change America. Heard you're good with the ladies, yes? Maybe the fellas too? I've seen you on my television, you're charming." Oikawa paused again. Damn, He really thought. If he lived in America, he would _actually_   vote for this fine old white man who's up for social justice. 

"Sanders-Sensei" Oikawa said over the phone, in a serious tone.

"Oikawa" Bernie said back.

"I'll be in America In 4 weeks. I'll fake my American citizenship and naturalization process. You need to win, my pal. What the world needs, is me—" Oikawa violently coughs and corrects himself, "I mean a presidential candidate who can really change something."

Bernie grinned. "So... are you up for a political revolution the nation will never forget?"

Oikawa chuckled and smirked. "Let's do it, old geezer."

Nishinoya grabbed Oikawa's phone and clicked "End call" 

"Oikawa-senpai, I'm hotter than you and I'm coming with you to America. Let's do this. We can defeat Donald, this moldy cheese, unharvested fruit, together." Noya said. Then he rolling thundered.

"NOYA WE'RE IN A MIDDLE OF A MATCH" Daichi yelled. As of that one iconic phone call, it's predicted that 2016 will be the most wild year of everyone's life.


End file.
